How to Teach Respect
What to expect at the 3-4-years-old of age
To make sure that a child of three or four years behaves with respect is like asking for pears in the Elm. It is partly because their language skills are still developing.
So when you tell her it’s time to go to bed, she’s unlikely to answer you saying, “I’m having a beautiful day in the bathroom, would it be too much to ask me to play five more minutes?” It is likely to splash and shout “No!” in the tone of rebellion and looking at you with their mischievous eyes.
Children of this age begin to wonder how much power they have over the family and put you to the test.
Acting like this is part of your development, but don’t expect to teach your child the importance of respect: even though three-and-four-year-olds have a need to test their limits, you can and should start teaching them good manners now.
What you can do
- Show respect for others
We do not usually give our children the respect we demand from them. It can be difficult to wait patiently for a child to give his opinion, but it is worth it. Look him in the eye and tell him you’re interested in what he says. It’s the best way to teach you to listen to you with the same attention.
- Teach him to respond to education
Your child can show affection and respect for others, using good manners. As soon as you can communicate verbally, you can learn to say “please” and “Thank You.” Explain that you are more willing to help him when he behaves with education and you don’t like it when he gives you orders.
Also, if you show respect, you’ll be teaching him more than giving him a talk. Always say “Please” and “Thank you” to your child (and other people), and you will learn that these words are part of normal communication, both in the family and in public.
- Avoid losing your nerves
If your child calls you “evil,” try not to get angry (after all, you know you’re not bad). A child who wants to provoke you will endure any unpleasant situation just to get you reactions.
Instead of doing that, look him in the eye and tell him sweetly but firmly: “In this family, we do not insult ourselves.” Then show him how to get what he wants with respect: “Whenever you want me to play with you, ask nicely.” Say ‘ Mom Please, can you play with me to the dolls? ‘
- Prepare for differences of opinion
Life would be much easier if our children would always listen to us, but human nature is not. Try to remember that when your child does not behave as you wish it is not that I try to be disrespectful; He just has a different opinion than yours.
Teach him that he will do better if he learns to stop expressing himself (“You never Take me to the park, Bad Mama!”) and instead learns to ask things positively (“Please, can we go to the park after we make the purchase?”).
- Sets limits
One of the best ways to show respect is to be kind and firm when it comes to disciplining. Being nice shows respect for your child and being firm demonstrates respect for what needs to be done.
So if your child has a tantrum in the supermarket and doesn’t serve any of your tactics, take him to the car and sit down and read a magazine until he’s done with his tantrum. Then, you can say calmly: “Now you’re ready to try again,” and go back to the store. Little by little you will learn that a tantrum does not alter the fact that you have to make the purchase.
- Talk about it later
Sometimes, the best way to handle disrespectful behavior is to discuss it with your child later, when the two have had a chance to calm down. You can recognize their feelings and reinforce your point of view by saying, “I know you were very upset, why do you think it was?” How can you solve the problem? “What would be a more respectful way to tell me how you feel?”
If your child knows that you are interested in what he thinks and feels, he will surely come to the same conclusion that you would come.
- Praises respectful behavior
Reinforce the unexpected samples of your child’s good education whenever you can, but be specific. We tend to say “good boy” or “good girl.” Instead, say, “Thank you for saying please when you’ve asked me for a sweet,” or “Thank you for waiting for your turn while the other kids were asking for their ice cream.”
Your child will learn quickly that their efforts are worthwhile and that you appreciate them.